Understanding and Overcoming Depression
Page Four
Robert was also susceptible to depression because he had never learned to soothe himself or make himself feel better when he faced failures or difficult times. When Robert's mother was alive, she talked with him and helped him feel better when he was troubled about something. But she died before Robert had developed this ability to soothe himself and make himself feel better on his own. And since his father was not very good at dealing with emotions, he was unable to help Robert handle difficult feelings. This left Robert unable to calm and reassure himself, so he relied on others-especially women-to help him in this area of his life. When his girlfriend broke off their relationship, Robert didn't just lose a girlfriend, he lost the one person who was helping him feel good about himself in life.
Sometimes individuals can face a series of defeats or situations where they are not able to succeed or get their needs met regardless of what they do. For example, Jill was treated like a scapegoat in her family. At first, her husband treated her very lovingly but he slowly changed over the years. She was blamed if something did not go well regardless of whether it was her responsibility or not. Her children even joined in the criticism. Sometimes she was placed in a double bind. When she did one thing, she was told that was wrong and that she should do something else. When she followed that advice, she was told that she shouldn't have done that either. She couldn't win. No matter what she tried, she failed to please her family and to feel good about herself. Naturally, this made Jill frustrated and resentful. But if she tried to express her feelings or her sense of being treated unfairly, her husband lost his temper. So she pressed her anger deep inside and concluded the problem was really hers. If she was just a nicer, better wife, her husband wouldn't get so mad. And if she could read his mind and do just what he wanted, her family would be fine. Who wouldn't feel depressed in an environment such as that? Experiences like Jill's contribute to people feeling worthless, inadequate, inferior, and resentful. This combination of feelings is at the root of much depression.
Some people become depressed because they lack social support or don't know how to engage socially with others when they are in a time of transition, crisis, or stress. This can make social situations painful for them, especially if they were already shy or socially anxious in the first place. Sometimes these individuals find that the least painful thing they can do is to isolate themselves and be alone, even though they want to be with other people.
Finally, unrealistic negative thoughts about oneself, the world, and the future are found in most people with clinical depression. These automatic, knee-jerk reactions can develop in childhood, as they did for Robert, or slowly over time in adulthood, as they did for Jill. Depressed individuals often are either not aware of how they beat themselves up with their thoughts or they assume that this just reflects the way things really are.
 Most individuals become depressed
when others sin against them, or when
they have suffered childhood traumas like
the loss of a parent, verbal or physical
abuse, rape, betrayal, assault, angry
punishment, or other self-esteem
destroying interactions.
Spiritual Dynamics in Depression. Does depression mean that a person has a spiritual problem? No more than we all do. Charles Spurgeon, Martin Luther, and many other godly men and women have struggled with depression. While all human problems can be traced back to the Fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, and in that sense are caused by sin, depression is rarely due simply to one's personal sins. Instead, most individuals become depressed when others sin against them, or when they have suffered childhood traumas like the loss of a parent, verbal or physical abuse, rape, betrayal, assault, angry punishment, or other self-esteem destroying interactions. Individuals only complicate their symptoms when they allow themselves to feel guilty for their depression. Some people who intentionally sin on a frequent basis have no depression. And some wonderful people feel quite depressed. There is rarely a direct causal relationship between conscious personal sin and depression.
Christians who are depressed, however, are especially likely to feel completely responsible for their depression. And they are extremely vulnerable to the comments of well-meaning friends who hold the mistaken belief that the only reason anybody feels depressed is because he or she is sinning. Unfortunately, these suggestions, no matter how well-intended, only increase the depressed person's depression and guilt. Depressed Christians naturally assume that their guilty feelings are proof that they are guilty. But it is one thing to know that you, like others, are a sinner. It is quite a different matter to despise and hate yourself and wish that you were dead. Most of the guilt depressed people feel is false guilt or neurotic guilt rather than true guilt or godly sorrow.
False guilt is rooted in self-blame and self-hatred and lasts for lengthy periods of time-if not for life. True guilt or godly sorrow is marked by appropriate regret or remorse for something that one actually did or should have done but didn't. True guilt doesn't blow things out of proportion. It doesn't take responsibility for the behavior of others or for consequences that are beyond one's control. And true guilt dissipates with confession, while the harsh self-condemnation of a depressive person's guilt persists in spite of repeated confessions to God or others. God is a God of love and forgiveness. Christians do not need to be riddled with guilt feelings because they can appropriate God's wonderful forgiveness through Jesus Christ.
TREATMENT
Fortunately, we don't have to live with debilitating depression. There are a number of effective treatments. They all work better the sooner one gets help.
Medical Treatments
Medication should always be considered in cases of severe depression. If the problem is biologically caused, medication may be the only treatment needed. More often, good counseling or psychotherapy may be combined with medication.
Four major types of antidepressant medication are currently used to treat depression. They are serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), tricyclics, monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs), and atypical antidepressants. These medications are either used alone or in combination. A psychiatrist usually prescribes antidepressant medications although some general practice physicians may do so as well on occasion.
 Continued on Page Five
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