The Emotionally Healthy Family
Page Four
Meeting Mutual Financial Needs
In a healthy family, each person is interested in meeting the basic financial needs of the others. Children and parents need to talk over the family budget and discuss what the family needs, what it can afford, and what it can't. In this way children can develop a practical mind for finances and a knowledge about earning and saving money. Parents can make a lifetime contribution to their children's welfare by helping them understand work, income, saving, and investment. Children need to develop sound, realistic attitudes toward money. They need to be aware that money is far from the most important thing in life.
Of course, one of the most important aspects of finances is tithing. What an advantage it is to a couple to begin their life together knowing that God has provided all that they have and all they ever will have! They learned from their parents the blessing of giving to the Lord's work. Now they carry that giving heart into their new life. Perhaps the biggest problem most Americans have with money is not their ability to earn it, but their attitude toward it. And this needs to be learned in the family. (Note to Richard: Great pull quote)
Stresses and strains of daily living are often tied in with finances. A family can sidestep years of tragedy by working together in financial planning.
Assuming Responsibilities in the Home
Each person is born to do—to work, to exercise, and to accomplish. It is a healthy family indeed that makes sure each member pulls his share and learns to accept responsibility at an early age. Of course, a child's responsibilities need to be in relation to his maturity, but every child can do something no matter how small he or she is.
Not long ago I spoke with a woman who was raised in a home where she never had any special responsibilities. "My mother was a perfectionist," she said. "I could never do anything to please her, so she would always shoo me out of the kitchen or wherever she was working, saying she'd do things herself. Of course, Mother could do things faster and better than I could, but the tragedy was that when I got married, I couldn't do very much. I didn't know anything about running a house, and even worse, I didn't believe I was capable of doing it."
 A child's responsibilities need to be
in relation to his maturity, but every
child can do something no matter
how small he or she is.
What a tragedy to send a child away to college or into marriage with the idea that he's limited in what he can do. When a person has learned to assume responsibilities and do jobs in the family, he feels more confident and has a healthier attitude toward himself.
How Does Your Family Rate?
If you are sincerely interested in evaluating your family and home life, you may want to mark the following chart. In this way you can identify areas in which you are doing well and areas where you would like to improve. You may want to discuss these areas with your spouse to affirm each other's strengths and encourage each other in the areas you need to grow.
You may also use the chart in a second way: mark it according to what went on in your childhood. As you discuss these areas, you will better understand why you feel and act the way you do. This understanding can help you change more easily.
Unfortunately, too many families today neglect one or more of these 12 factors. When this happens, the family suffers. Wise parents will do their best to remedy this situation and lead their family to a fuller, healthier life in accordance with God's will.
The Healthy Family |
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Very Well |
Average |
Poor |
Developing respect |
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Discovering and developing talent |
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Expressing and showing love |
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Respecting reasonable limits and
boundaries |
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Developing a healthy self-image |
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Sensing the community and world |
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Becoming spiritually fulfilled |
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Identifying personal and family goals |
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Working and playing together |
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Observing good health habit |
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Meeting mutual financial need |
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Assuming responsibilities in the home |
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How To Use This Article
This article (also in booklet form available from NCF ... see below for a free copy) lends itself to study and discussion groups, both small and large. One way which I have found to be especially effective is this:
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In a 30-minute or more presentation go through the 12 points of the booklet. Do NOT distribute the booklet; however, encourage each one to take notes.
After a brief stand-up or stretch, distribute the graph in the booklet to each person. Copies of this page may be enlarged considerably.
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As leader, take one point at a time, say a little about it, then ask each person to mark how well he or she is meeting this need in his or her family (very well, average, poor). Allow time for a brief discussion. The leader needs to avoid answering questions. Rather, he or she needs to turn significant questions back to the group and let the group answer. Spouses may mark their copies differently from one another!
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Go through each of the other 11 points just as you have the first.
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At the conclusion of the discussion, suggest that each person take the chart home, then set up a plan for beginning to improve any of the 12 points which needs attention.
 Return to Page One
Dr. Clyde Narramore, is the Founder of the Narramore Christian Foundation, was President for half-a-century, well-known radio and conference speaker, and author.
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