Married to a Non-Christian
Page Four
But the Lord becomes more precious to me day by day. He also uses me to help others who are contemplating marrying unbelievers.
"I love my husband and am anxious for him to be saved, and I believe he will be, in God's appointed time. In the meantime, I can rejoice because I'm learning to live closer to the Lord.
"I am not alone in my experience. I've been in a prayer group with about ten ladies and our experiences are somewhat the same. The Lord has undertaken in a wonderful way—praise His Holy Name."
This lady is not merely surviving. She is rejoicing in spite of her difficult situation.
Removing Difficulties
One of the wisest things a person married to an unbeliever can do is this: Identify the barriers to your spouse coming to faith and remove as many as you can.
Health: For example, a health condition might seriously aggravate a relational problem. When a person is not well, he is unable to take some of the rougher spots of everyday living. Each problem in the marriage can seem exaggerated. If you have a health problem that makes you irritable, impatient or difficult to live with, get medical help and if your mate has a similar problem encourage him or her to also get medical help. Many marriages have been enhanced by improved health.
In-Law Problems: Another important factor which can create serious tension is in-laws. The Bible says we are to "leave" our parents and "cleave" to our mates. If a partner disobeys God by sticking to his parents at the expense of his spouse, the couple is almost certainly headed for trouble. So keep one eye on your relationship with your parents and in-laws. That may be unknowingly keeping you from leading your mate to Christ. Some wives and husbands are being manipulated by a mother or father, and do not realize it. Others are overly involved with their parents.
 Discipline problems in a home where
only one parent is a Christian can
have the added burden of the parents'
differences of opinion.
Children: Children are a blessing and a challenge. Discipline problems in a home where only one parent is a Christian can have the added burden of the parents' differences of opinion.
I know one couple that is experiencing a tragic situation. The young mother cares deeply for the things of the Lord. But the unsaved father is drawn to parties and places of amusement which the mother feels she cannot attend. He feels rejected in the home, so he is attempting to draw the children to himself by refusing to correct them.
Another situation that may create a family problem has to do with an exceptional child, for instance, a slow learning, hyperactive, or neurologically impaired youngster. The mother feels that the father is impatient, while the father believes
250 that the boy is lazy and overprotected by his mother. Naturally, this results in constant friction and unhappiness.
My suggestion to these parents is to seek professional help. A Christian psychologist, by means of interviews and tests followed by counseling sessions, could help the parents gain a mutual understanding of their child's condition and learn better ways of working with him. Almost without exception, when such conditions are remedied, a more even keel of balance is established in the home. Then the unsaved parent has an atmosphere that is more conductive to the working of the Holy Spirit.
Time Together: When only one mate is saved, the two are likely to spend less and less time together. But deep love and understanding is nurtured when a couple spends much time working and playing together.
Betty, a Christian wife who tends to talk a lot, would do well to listen to her unsaved husband's opinions, to reflect his ideas, and to draw out his convictions and feelings. With wisdom, tempered with gentleness, she could guide the conversation into compatible channels. True, she could stand up and fight for what she thinks is right, but ten years from now she might still be fighting (if they remained under one roof). But with spiritual wisdom she could be one step closer to the day when her husband's name, too, could be written in the Lamb's Book of Life!
Living and Loving: The athlete throws off every weight that will impede. The Christian mate has an even greater preparation for the contest in which he is engaged. His is a spiritual enterprise. His strength must come from on high. "And my God shall be my strength" (Isaiah 49:5). Daily feeding upon the Word of God and a constant lifeline of prayer, combined with Christian fellowship, will keep the believer strong and conditioned.
Louder than Words: No greater factor enters into the winning of a mate than love. The unbeliever has an eagle eye. He often knows what the Christian should do and is quick to see the inconsistencies in the Christian mate's life.
Mrs. Blake, for example, saw her pastor about her husband's unsaved condition. Not long after, the pastor visited the husband and found that although unsaved, he was a quiet, likeable person. The pastor presented the claims of Christ and asked if it might not be possible for the husband and wife to take their stand together and be one in the Lord. The pastor received for an answer; "There's not room in any house for two people like her."
 Continued on Page Five
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