Married to a Non-Christian
Page Three
A Good Testimony
Some Christians who are married to unbelievers seem to have more concern for those who are outside the circle of faith, in their community or in other countries, than for those in their own homes. And yet, if our testimony is according to God's standards, it should be effective with the one to whom we are married. In the opening verses of the third chapter of I Peter, we read: "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands; that, if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear."
This verse might be interpreted in a single statement by saying something like this: "Wives, be cooperative with your non-Christian husband, that through your exemplary life, your husband may become interested in having a personal relationship with Christ." The same is true of husbands married to a non-Christian wife. They need to be the most loving, wonderful advertisement their mate will ever see for God!
Church Attendance
Nearly every Christian who is married to a non-Christian encounters the problem of church attendance. The unsaved mate may not attend church at all, or he may refuse to attend a good Bible centered church where his wife is a member. He may feel uncomfortable at a service where the minister speaks of sin and salvation.
A Christian cannot afford to stay away from Christian fellowship and worship merely because the unsaved mate refuses to go. But neither should he or she nag or pressure a spouse who chooses not to go. That only creates resentment. Instead, worship regularly for your own spiritual nurture and look for an occasional special meeting or informal group meeting where your non-Christian mate might feel more comfortable.
Family Devotions
In a home where only one parent knows Christ as his personal Savior, family devotions are usually difficult, if not impossible.
One day, an outstanding attorney told me of conditions in his home since he had accepted Christ about two years earlier. His wife was so bitter against every aspect of Christianity that he had to devise means of getting the gospel to his own children. He purposely takes them to school in the car each morning. Then, as he drives slowly along, he helps them memorize scripture verses. His wife will allow no Bible study in the home.
But God would not have us abandon family worship and daily Bible study, even if one parent is not cooperative. The saved parent may need to adjust to less favorable situations. But if he is faithful and tactful, God will enable him to pray, read, and talk with the children, even under the most trying conditions.
 Since there is little of the eternal
in the thinking of the unbeliever,
nearly every value-based decision
can be a point of difference.
Church Activities
Neither Jennie nor Ted were Christians when they married. But after several years Jennie became a Christian and eagerly took part in church activities. She loved to sing, so she joined the choir. However, after leaving Ted a few evenings to go to choir rehearsal, she realized there must be another way.
The Lord laid it upon her heart to drop out of choir and to spend the time with Ted. She found that it took several years of love to accomplish what she had hoped to do in a month. But there came the time when Jennie and Ted joined the choir together, to sing praises to Him, whom they both knew as Lord and Savior!
Conflicting Viewpoints
Those who have been spiritually born again and those who haven't live in two different worlds: Which friends shall we invite to our home? Will it be those who abuse alcohol and enjoy off-color stories? Or will it be those with positive morals and spiritual interests? Shall we send our children to Christian schools? What television programs shall we watch? How will we spend our free time? Where will we invest our financial resources? What about tithing?
Since there is little of the eternal in the thinking of the unbeliever, nearly every value-based decision can be a point of difference. The Bible says, "But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned" (I Corinthians 2:14).
The Christian who is married to an unbeliever may feel at times that the burden is too great, that he is unable to go on. If that has been your experience, you will undoubtedly be moved by the testimony of a woman of God who wrote this letter:
"For a time, I felt sorry for myself. I thought that I was experiencing the most terrible thing that could come into a Christian's life—being married to an unbeliever! Then God began to speak to my heart, and things began to change. I have been saved five years, but my husband is still unsaved. And from the depth of my heart I can still say, 'Thank you, Lord.' No, it's not an easy life, and in case you think I can say 'thank you' because I've not had to go through what others have, let me say briefly that my husband, angered over 'religion,' demanded I go to a psychologist. Our home was almost broken, and I nearly lost our little girl. He ridiculed me in front of friends. He cursed and swore. These are only as few of the experiences I have had.
 Continued on Page Four
|
