Say No To Burnout
Page Four
8. Sometimes when we do the will of God, we find ourselves in places of ongoing danger or at least in circumstances which militate against rest and recovery. Such stressors can ultimately lead to burnout if they are severe enough or if they are prolonged. For example, a missionary living in a country undergoing a revolution or a teacher in the United States working in the inner city may be operating under an ongoing threat of violence.
There is growing evidence that prolonged stress can cause great harm. Ironically, even the anticipation of danger or the "what if's" of the future can cause the same physical damage as does stress which results from actual events. To be constantly on guard for your life, to fear physical attack whenever you go out on the street, can cause biochemical defense mechanisms which, if produced on a continual level, are emotionally and physically damaging.
According to recent research the stress hormone, cortisol, is produced to give us increased energy during stress. Because our stressors today don't usually require physical responses like running away from an enemy, the cortisol just sits there. If we add to that a chronic state of stress such as we have just referred to, the high cortisol levels can affect the immune system and make us vulnerable to ulcers and a variety of illnesses.
Dr. Pamela Peeke in her excellent book, Fight Fat After Forty, refers to a work by Robert Sapolsky, Ph.D., Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers. "Mammals," Sapolsky postulates, "don't get ulcers because they do not normally harbor chronic stress. That is something we humans do all the time.
"Imagine a zebra on the Serengeti Plain. He's grazing with other zebras under a noonday sun, enjoying the sweet grass. Through experience, this zebra knows that there must be a lion out there somewhere. He knows enough not to go near the lion's home territory. Instead, he lives in the moment, enjoying the grass, not stressing about where the lion is and dealing with the problem only if the lion actually appears.
"We humans, on the other hand, often make a second career out of wondering where our lions are."
2. On the simplest level, it is vital to be able to say no. No is one of the first words we learn to say as small children, and it is probably the first word which we are then taught not to say. It is hard to say no to tasks which we long to do and which other people are pushing on us. As a family counselor I hear all kinds of excuses for not saying no. "There is no one else to do it." "I enjoy it, so it won't take a lot out of me." (My personal favorite!) "I've always felt that if someone asks me to do something, then it's God's way of leading me." "I am best qualified for this job, and so I feel that I should do it."
 When I discovered that burning out was
not God's will for my life, one of my biggest
problems was, 'How do I say no?'
These are just a few of the more lofty, sophisticated excuses for not saying no and burning out for God. The less-often-articulated, but at times more honest excuses, are: "I just didn't have the courage to say no to someone else or to myself"; and "I like thinking I'm so important that there is no one else who can do the job."
How can I say no? By nature I have a very hard time saying no. For many years I got along by accommodating people and doing almost everything asked of me. When I discovered that burning out was not God's will for my life, one of my biggest problems was, "How do I say no?"
I quickly learned that I could not wait for people to approve of my saying no. I couldn't wait for their permission or for someone else to do the task in my place. I simply had to say no, whether or not anyone but God Himself understood.
At this time in my life, my private practice and my writing are my two major priorities. God has called me to these tasks. Sometimes public speaking can become a part of these tasks. But I have chosen to make it a third priority. Otherwise I'd start getting overtired, catching viruses easily and would in general find the quality of my work going down. The day I started saying "no" to certain speaking engagements was the beginning of a whole new arena of balance in my work.
I had almost forgotten about that hurdle until recently when someone was trying to convince me that I should be on more radio talk shows. In exasperation she finally said: "You just can't go through life saying no!"
I was stunned for a moment with the abruptness of her reply. Then I was amused. How unlike the old me, I thought. And I rejoiced in this small (but to me significant) affirmation that I had really learned to say no.
Often our problem is not so much in
choosing between the good and the bad
(which is usually quite obvious) but
between the good and the best.
3. Give yourself time before saying yes. Don't say yes immediately. There are, of course, times when you will say yes. An opportunity that is too good to pass up will come your way. Or perhaps you will find God is leading you in new directions.
But it is still difficult to know when we are taking on too much, even after we have learned to say no. Often when I am asked to do something, I ask for time to think and decide. I don't want to say no immediately because I want to give God the opportunity to show me if a yes is in order.
I might respond, for example, by saying, "A lot of what you are talking about sounds appealing to me. But I need time to see if this is truly a priority that God wants me to take on." Often our problem is not so much in choosing between the good and the bad (which is usually quite obvious) but between the good and the best.
 Continued on Page Five
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