Ten Ways You Can Shape a Child's Life
Page Three
6. Let the child ask questions: Children and young people are usually full of questions. And they love it when they find someone who is interested in what they are asking. There are ways to cooperate with this healthy tendency, and ways to shut off the flow of conversation. For example, when the first question is asked, you might respond by saying, "Now that's a good question. Let's think about it." Or, "You've asked a very interesting question," and let the child pick it up from there.
Often when a person—young or old—asks a question, he or she is seeking an opportunity to tell his or her ideas rather than to hear yours. A sure way to stop the communication is to come back with a quick, pat answer. There is an implied, "That's that," which may well make the questioner feel that you have no more time for him. On the other hand, when you encourage his questions, he senses he is being treated as a thinking person and that you respect him, whatever the age of the person may be.
 When you encourage his questions, he
senses he is being treated as a thinking
person and that you respect him,
whatever the age of the person may be.
When you ignore a child's questions, he'll look to other sources to get his answers. And these may not be wholesome and pure as you would want them to be. Children should get their answers from you—not from out on the street.
Sometimes older people think the younger generation has no time for them. Actually, it may be the opposite—young people may have learned through experience that older people have little time for them and their interests. No matter what age, most anyone will respond to someone who shows genuine interest in him or her.
7. Lift up ideals before the child: Everyone needs something to reach for. In childhood, the sky is the limit. Great ideals held up before a child can inspire that child to believe he or she can achieve something worthwhile in life.
Too many young people espouse causes that appeal to their idealism but are not especially beneficial to themselves or to humanity. They jump on noisy bandwagons that have little to do with convictions because no one has ever held up to them something meaningful to aspire to—something worthwhile and noble.
An unusual number of Christians in these past years has achieved prominence in education, politics, medicine, philanthropy, and other areas because they aspired to make a difference and serve humanity and God. They were not limiting their vision to their own temporal needs. I think of Astronaut Jim Irwin, for instance, and of the tremendous influence and inspiration he was to so many. It was my privilege to know Jim and his lovely wife, Mary. And what a joy it was to have some of their enthusiasm for God rub off on the rest of us.
Former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop, Christian psychologist James Dobson, and many others have refused to settle for lives without challenge and purpose, and they all had a vision to serve God and humanity.
Children are natural hero-worshippers.
It's never too early to bolster their
admiration for people who have done
noble things in their lifetimes.
Others in fields such as music, sports, the arts, business, education, and other professions—as well as those in various other occupations—have a ringing testimony for God. He doesn't call all of us to be famous, but He needs servants in every realm of life who desire to make a difference in the lives of others. And He needs missionaries and those who want to reach out to win others to Christ. This is a great ideal to instill in the children and young people you meet and know.
Children are natural hero-worshippers. It's never too early to bolster their admiration for people who have done noble things in their lifetimes. How wonderful to hear a child respond, "I'm going to be like him (or her) when I grow up!" Children may change their minds about what they want to be and do with their lives, but children growing up with fine ideals will reflect these ideals in whatever direction their lives take.
It's almost immoral to let a child
go even one day without being
complimented at least once.
8. Compliment a child: There's always at least one thing you can see in a child about which you can remark positively. Perhaps it's in the child's appearance or some area of ability. Compliments assure him or her of your love and concern. Positive remarks are easy to give and very important in helping children do better. Such statements help them look at the future in a more positive light. Yet many adults never compliment the children they meet. Perhaps they've never been complimented themselves. Or perhaps they don't feel good enough about themselves to be able to compliment another.
Some people hesitate to offer compliments because they don't want to give the child the "big head." But it doesn't work that way. Children who are complimented are encouraged to do and be their best. It's the booster shot that everyone needs to rise to his full potential.
One time when I was visiting in a home, I couldn't help noticing the glow on the young girl's face as she entered the room. "You look happy," I said, and a broad smile lit up her face even more. Why was she feeling so good? She was quick to tell me when I asked: "Mommy says I'm a big help to her, and she couldn't get along without me!"
 Continued on Page Four
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